I’M FEELING BETTER AND WATCH OUT!

The cold has diminished to occasional sneezes that could blow out an eardrum and I can deal with that.

My daughter called and asked if I would like to meet her and the grandson for lunch. Since I had already committed to driving into town to make another donation to the Democrats—that would be the donuts and cupcakes purchased at a major chain as opposed to homecooked—I said “You betcha.” (From that you can gather that I have lived in MN long enough to pick up the local dialect.)

On my 45 minute drive into town, I found myself blogging in my head. Damn, I thought, why can’t I be this clever when the keyboard is in front of me?

The first thought was how, when you live in the country, you measure distance in terms of time as opposed to miles. For example, I live 45 minutes from town. Now, that 45 minutes only applies when the road is not covered in ice, rain isn’t pelting down so fast the windshield wipers won’t clean it, fog is so thick that you pass your road and find yourself 20 miles further from home than you want to be, or a roaring blizzard is blowing icy snow at your car at over 60 miles an hour and all you can do is 10 mph and beg. When it’s like that, it takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. If someone asks me how far I live from town, I don’t answer with 32 miles, because they would then think it should only take me half an hour or so to get into town. No, I answer in minutes.

Today was a 45 minute day. And it was beautiful. And it gives me lots of time to think, listen to audio books, or…blog in my head. The thought of the day was MY PERFECT JOB. I have often said that my perfect job would constitute reading, eating, sleeping on a cyclical basis. Not bad. But today I thought of my perfect position. It would be a government job of the highest level. Appointed for life, I might add. It would be the new Cabinet post of: CRITICIZER GENERAL.

I can critique anything…and in a quite entertaining, if not sometimes vulgar, manner. Some of my more “upbeat” friends used to have the gall to ask me how I could criticize without having solutions. Upon hearing some of my solutions to the things that I criticized they quickly backed down. You see, I can criticize anyone or anything else’s behavior, actions, attitudes, appearance, smell, etc. and I have no obligation to offer solutions…I am more than willing to work on my own areas that need improvement…or, accept them as character flaws… but that is my extent of caring about change.

I know that sounds harsh, but at 57 I have volunteered, donated, worn ribbons, marched, boycotted, been incarcerated and suffered through quite a variety of social injustices, personal growth, and need to leave the world a better place. Now, it wasn’t all that bad. There were quite a few social customs of the late 60’s and early 70’s that made all of this somewhat enjoyable and certain parts unable to be remembered. But, that no longer holds the intrigue for me that it once did. No, I’m strictly a diet coke and nicorette gum girl now…with an occasional foray into the world of Nyquil if I really want to live on the edge.

So my newest contribution to the betterment of human existence will be my own appointment of myself to the role of CRITICIZER GENERAL.

Now, there are plenty of things I already have on my list to criticize, but if you would like to suggest anything on you list for professional analysis…feel free…I have opinions on everything.

So, that was my drive blog today. After which I had a delightful lunch with daughter and grandson and then indulged one of my many addictions by stopping at Barnes and Noble and dropping close to $40. The nice part of that is that I work there part time and get a discount and the not so nice part of that is—it ain’t free, babe!

Purchases:
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress
The Queen’s Fool

And for the grandson:
Something about a Psycho Butt from the kid’s department. He got quite a kick out of the title until I started being an out of control granny and embarrassed him by talking about it. He’ll get over it. Humiliation is good for a child.

Luckily, I avoided the music department or my secondary addiction to music would have kicked in to the tune of another forty bucks.

The really exciting part of today is that I get tomorrow off, too. I feel good. And I have tons to read and carrot cake to eat. Life is good.