SHE'S DANCIN' IN THE STREET

I don't think I can express how happy I am today. Those expired flexeril and some, uh, uh, my daughter reads this, uh, ganja put me right out and when I awoke I only had a little stiffness in my neck. And, it's a good damned thing...there's a UMD women's hockey game tonight that my boy and I are going to. Play-off time and all that. I have decided that collegiate women's hockey is the hottest sport there is. The best hockey game I ever saw was a triple overtime UMD game for the championship a couple of years ago. And, the boy loves it, too.

I will be jumpin' up and yellin' for all to hear tonight. And then spending the night at Tina's house so I can go and see the boy play basketball in the morning. The kid is nine and is the granny's retirement plan. I taught him to dribble when he was three...and the famous lessons on the importance of outside shots and rebounds. I can see it now..."I'd like to thank my Granny for teaching me all I neede about basketball...even how to use elbows without being caught." That's what I got kicked off the team for. Unnecessary roughness. My sports career was short lived...it was well before Title IX and we played "girlie" games...I ended up in single player sports...not a great team player...but I bet you knew that already. How in the hell can you play volleyball and worry about breaking a nail? You can't...and I kind of made the point go home with a quick bitch slap when we lost again. Oh yeah, I was a toughie.

My computer seems to be hanging in there. I am going to make a computer bed for it...so when I put it down at night it isn't on some cold, dark, floor. I think what I would really like is one of those things that you got in the hospital...you know, it turns over your bed to eat, or to stash stuff in...I see it now, I am turning into Proust who spent thirteen years in bed. I will leave behind no Tales of Rembrances past, simply attempts at trying to remember the past.

I have decided that tomorrow I will write about my most embarassing moment ever. I didn't even have to question which one I would choose. It pretty much set my opinion of human interaction to this day.

GO BULLDOGS!