WHY AM I CONSTANTLY SEDUCED BY ADVERTISING?

Okay, it works like this...I watch the televison, I pay little or no attention to the commercials, enough of the sound sneaks through my censors and my ears pick up the words: NEW...LEMON...COOKIE. I am the original "As seen on TV" chick. Hell, one year when I had foster kids and money was tight, we had an "As seen on TV" christmas. All of the gifts had to fit the theme. I got one of those little egg scramblers. You've seen them. This little metal pin breaks the shell as you set it on it, and since it is set at an angle, as soon as it starts to spin it whirls the egg into perfect pre-scrambled state.

After having caught my attention, I turn the volume up and see that the source of these words is...a Keebler's Lemon Sandies commercial. Those damn elves. They got me again. I have to tell you that Lemon Flavor has surpassed chocolate for me. I will still eat chocolate, don't get me wrong, as much as I can get my hands on...I don't (or try not to) buy it. However, the seduction of the lemon embedded itself somewhere in my primal brain stem and when I was in the grocery store today, it struck.

The first thing I bought was a lemon marinated pork chop. Never had one, but it sure sounded good, for some reason. So, there I was with one of them in my cart and then I saw them. The cheese crackers. Hey, after I had the pork chop, those would be a great snack as I watched two DVD's of Alias. (I know, you wish you had this kind of excitement in your life!)

As I walked on down the aisle, there they were, opposite the crackers, THE DREADED KEEBLER LEMON SANDIES. At $3.49 a package they weren't quite as cost effective as the package of lemon wafers I bought at the dollar store last week. But, but, they sure looked good. And I succumbed to temptation. I was never known as a citadel of strength and resistance, in fact, the only nickname I have ever had sounded a lot like "Easy."

So now the cookies are sitting on the dresser. I know if I open them I will eat the entire package in one fell swoop. And then they will be gone and I will wonder why I didn't buy two packages. I'll tell you why, I may love lemon, but I am one cheap son of a bitch. But, what if I can't resist? You tell me, should I open the cookies and throw caution to the wind, or should I hold them as long as possible and build the anticipation up until the consumption of them presents an orgasmic frenzy of lemon?