SNAFU SNAFU SNAFU SNAFU

"One of those days?" you ask. As we say in Minnesota "YOU BETCHA!" followed closely behind by a few of these, "&*#%#!!."

I haven't mentioned it, but it has been a little over a year since I started doing this. I wasn't too hot to begin with and some may say (and do) that I'm not so hot now. In celebration I decided to give myself a little present and have ordered a new skin, new hosting, and....DSL. Today was the day the DSL was to be installed. Since I live in Timbuktu they can do nothing more than tell me they will be here on Thursday, May 5th. Groovy.

I take the day off work. Oh, did I mention the hard drive died on my satellite DVR the other day and after having been on hold for an hour they told me it would be delivered today, too. Great. What's the saying? Kill two birds with one stone? Who is kidding whom? This is Sarah. Her life just does not run like that.

First. Put the dog out. It's a beautiful day, the dog crawls into the little hole she has dug under one of the lilac bushes (which may bloom by August if I'm lucky) and sets out to spend the day guarding the homestead. Soon, I hear a bark. She is so good that nary a monster dares come into the yard. But, the 'crazy lady that lives down the road's' dog does come into the yard. Usually Jules is inside all day while I'm at work, so I don't know if this is the usual week day behavior of this dog. Jules, though, is having none of it. Barking commences, then squeals as I run to the window and yell for that asshole dog to get out of here. I call Jules to the front of the house and she comes in, dripping blood from a bite that she has on her side. Doggy first aid, coming up. Cold water on a paper towel, trying to calm the dog down and clear out dog fuzz at the same time blood is dripping all over the floor. SHI-I-I-I-I-T! Finally get it cleaned out and put some antibiotic cream on the gash and spend a half hour telling her that she's a good doggy and it's going to be okay.

Then, the UPS guy comes to drop off the new receiver. The DSL guy still hasn't shown up. And, Jules is doing her best to "scare" the UPS guy off, but is whimpering like a baby because of her "ow-ey." I start to unhook and rehook the reciever...one cable at a time so I don't get confused and the DSL guy shows up...as does the loudest, windiest, rainiest storm of the season starts.

This puts the dog into a minor fit. She hates thunder. I run to unplug the computer. The DSL guy says he'll wait until the storm passes to start the process. Blah Blah Blah. Storm passes. Guess what? Both phone lines are gone. That kills the DSL installation. Phone service starts up again after six, well after phone guy leaves.

So, I'll have to take another day off of work in an attempt to hook up to the internet at more than a snail's pace. What am I going to do now? I am going downstairs and making lemon poppyseed muffins, hot dogs and baked beans and eat until I puke...as I said before SHI-I-I-IT!!!