A FEW QUICK TIDBITS ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF A REALLY BAD SORE THROAT

This is not the world's greatest picture, but I took it at work on the sly. What you might be able to see in that saved baggie is a piece of celery approximately 1½ inches long and a "baby carrot" measuring less than ½ inch longer. Yesterday this bag included another carrot of like size and a small broccoli floret. Does the word TRASH mean anything?

Collagen should NOT be used in an attempt to enhance one's beauty to the point of the
woman on the left. However, it is perfectly legal to use when one has no upper lip as the gentleman on the right. No upper lip "oogies" me out...

That is a martini. Up. Perhaps one olive too many, it depends on the size. It is made with Bombay Gin. The glass will be pre-chilled and then dried out with a non-lint cloth. Two drops, maybe three, of good dry vermouth will then be place in the glass. A stainless steel cocktail
shaker will then be filled halfway with crushed ice...two ounces of Bombay Gin will be poured in. It will then be stirred in one direction only for approximately 30 to 45 seconds, depending on the ambient temperature. The glass will be picked up, swirled to coat the vermouth on the inside, and the excess vermouth will be flung out with a quick flick of the wrist. The gin will
then be poured through a strainer (making sure no ice slips through) into the chilled glass and one or two speared olives will be placed in the glass. The first sip will pass your lips and you will be amazed as you feel something cool, smooth, almost tasteless slip down you throat.

What you see pictured above is Bombay Sapphire. Order a Bombay Sapphire martini with same directions as above if you like flavor of Tanqueray. They both have a stronger resin flavor and it is my opinion that Tanqueray is just as good and generally much less than the over the
much touted Bombay Sapphire.

NOW THIS IS WHAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!

THESE WILL NEVER BE A PART OF ANY DRINK WITH THE WORD "MARTINI" IN IT. YOU WILL FIND THEM IN FOOFOO DRINKS WITH STRANGE NAMES LIKE MUDSLIDE, SNICKERS, HARVEY WALLBANGERS. PUT IT IN ANY KIND OF GLASS
YOU LIKE, WITH AN UMBRELLA, A PIECE OF BROWNIE OR SOME KIND OF NUT AND CALL IT WHAT IT IS...NOT A MARTINI IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM WHATSOEVER!

Thank you for your patience, I think my sore throat and all of the cold medications have pushed me onto the
grouchy side! And for those of you who may be worried about my attachment to alcohol, I can't remember when I last had a drink...but rest assured, the next one will be a Bombay Martini and I will be standing right next to the bartender in my black leather with a cat-o-nine tails as I tell him exactly how I want it! The martini, that is!