I see you all are scratching your head and wondering, "What is this woman up to now?" This is a collage of my future life. Okay, maybe not my whole future life depending upon how successful I become at the goals I am setting for myself. Not resolutions, mind you. Goals. Theoretically, goals are more easily attainable than fulfilling resolutions. We'll see. I am going to make a journey and you will probably have to accompany me on some of it.

The picture on the left is good food. Good for a number of reasons. I usually don't have to cook it. It tastes good and the number one reason...I LOVE 'EM! So, to show that I am a person of great willpower, I will limit, if not eliminate, these foods. (Except for the cheese. I love my cheese. Here is the first bargain...if I get rid of cake, ice cream, and chocolate, can I please keep my cheese? Done!)

The person on the treadmill. Ah, yes. The treadmill. The piece of equipment taking up room in my office that I figure I have contributed a total of two and one half hours of my life out of the past year and a half that I have had it. Please, if I could put it under my bed, I would. Nope, this is the year I am going to use it for something other than hanging the ironing on. I figure five miles a day for the first month. And work my way up. Hell, it even makes a hill for me to run up. Run. My theory has always been, "Why would you run if no one was chasing you?" So, walking, uphill, exercise, daily. Got it. I'll start tomorrow.

Books. Ahhh, books. This is a simple one. Or not. I promise to read more books than I buy this year. This is for a couple of reasons. The first is: I love to read and need to prioritize it into my life. Perhaps if I say I have to read two books for every one I buy, no, make that three books for every one I buy, I will be able to save a bit more money. The second reason: I will most likely save my life as the piles of books diminish, I will not have to fear being killed by a falling tower of the world's best literature.

Now, what have you got to lose? How about an ass wide enough to carry a tray of drinks on. How about the belly that makes your grandson mention that his invention for his school project will be to help people who can't bend over, put on their socks. "Like you, granny." Listen, kid, I love you dearly, but you are getting close to the edge. Do you remember that teacher you had in the third grade that had those flappy things under her upper arm? Welcome to my nightmare. I had lost weight last year and then suffered a kidney infection, a couple of kidney stones, and discovered that Lortabs go down much easier with Peanut M&Ms. I don't want to be a skinny old lady, but, I'd like to weigh less than most football players who are getting paid professional salaries. I wouldn't mind hitting running back weight, but that is a dream!

And then the picture of the woman with that thing in her hand. What is it again? A spoon? A pogo stick? Oh, that's right, it's a broom. I will develop a more healthy relationship with the utensils of cleaning. I found that by listing what was in my bed on Tuesday nights embarrassed me to the point of keeping it open of food, more than two books, newspapers, telephones, ad
nauseum. If I don't get to work cleaning my bedroom, I will start to post pictures which will thoroughly depress you as much as me.

So, there you have it. My goals for the year. I will re-open this in a few months and cry over my failures and grin over my successes.

Did you think I had forgotten about all of you. No, I have a goal for you, too.