TUESDAY NIGHT'S SPECIAL:WHAT'S IN SARAH'S BED AND WHERE THE HELL HAS SHE BEEN?

Well, it's like this. Last Tuesday was Tina and Caden day, I knew what was in my bed, I was going to post it, and the blog ate my post. Twice. Then I had missed two days of work. Now, even though I only work 8 hours a day, when I get those days off, I turn into a child. Don't go to sleep until late, surf the web, watch Heaven's Gate (which will take up almost two weeks of time), blah, blah, blah. So that by the time I returned to work, I was still exhausted and had work to catch up.

It's hard to believe how much energy brain power takes out of you. Why the hell can't you burn calories with it. I would weigh half of what I do now, there'd be no guilt for refusing to get off my ass and exercise when I'd rather be sedentary, and it would probably cut my prescription drug use in half and I could take up the non-prescription again. Yeah, Granny was a pothead and can remember quite well swearing that they would have to pry that joint from my dead, dying fingers. Amasing how that perspective changes when your health does. Besides that, those munchies would have doubled that prescription drug use!

So, it's been work, crash, work, crash. Throw in a snow storm that made the distance in time an additional twenty minutes each way, and you can imagine how the withdrawal has been. And the ability to pile more shit on my bed has become beyond belief. Yes, folks, if I roll over I will poke my eye out.

Here it goes:

1. Twisted (Jonathan Kellerman book)
2. Teach Yourself HTML Visually (I’m a slow learner.)
3. Time Magazine
4. Newsweek Magazine
5. Food & Family (A free magazine from Kraft Foods about my favorite subject, food.)
6. Prioritize Organize (The book that my boss gave me, the presence of which shows I have not quite conquered its message.)
7. Nicorette Gum (I am no longer addicted to cigarettes. No, now I crave the world’s foulest tasting gum.)
8. Empy bowl and spoon. (Said bowl and spoon previously held and carried apple crisp. This constituted a fruit serving and since the crust was made with granola, provided ample roughage.
9. A pack of Spearmint Gum. (An attempt to change gums. Not working. Will try and find crap flavored gum next.)
10. DVD, Satellite, TV Remotes (These could be listed separately, but I’m starting to get embarrassed.
11. Today’s mail. (I hate mail. With the advent of email, I now only receive bills and junk and who wants that?)
12. Lie Still (Another book.)
13. Book Lust (Oops, almost missed that one. Another book that explains the presence of all the rest.
14. Four Pillows (Two are on the floor in the hole of darkness and death on the far side of the bed.)
15. A ball point pen from TrueMajority.com (Yeah, I know, I lost, I am a loser, but damnit, I’m still proud to be blue.)
16. The laptop. (My soulmate.)
17. Me!

It's not getting better, it's getting worse. I thought that by writing it down I would improve my slovenly ways. Apparently not.

Coming tomorrow: The World's Best Nigerian Spam Website You Will Ever See. (If you don't agree, I will absolutely demand you forward your best to me and I will compare...)