I'm worth $1,550,286.10! How much are you worth? I feel so cheap compared to some of you out there. What no masturbation? No smoking dope? Do those increase or decrease your value? Maybe I'll cheat and take it again. Nah...I always was a low end tramp. No reason to change that now.

(I have been known to say that my ass has been around the block so many times it has 8 ply retreads on it, maybe that has something to do with it.)