WHAT DID I DO TODAY?

Today was cooking day. Or pre-cooking day. Pies: two pumpkin, one pecan, one strawberry rhubarb. Homemade rolls. Homemade cinnamon buns. Brownie torte. Now that the important stuff has been done, I can kick back.

Tomorrow it's the 26 pound turkey in the Weber. All the side dishes and then on to the gorging. We are only having a total of six this year. It will be the smallest Thanksgiving in over twenty years. My roomate's sister married and moved four hours away. So, she and her boys won't be here. One of the boys may show up, but still unkown at this time. Same roommate's brother and his wife won't be coming up from the Cities. You know, when the kids grow up and start to move away things change.

Tina, Caden and Caden's father will be here. I know that the only reason I would ever move from here would be if Tina moved. It's great what a connection we have. And, as she and Caden are my only family, it's a good thing. I'm not going to get all maudlin here, but, they are my life.

Caden is looking forward to the food fight. It will probably be only he and I, Tina has avoided them from the first time I squashed mashed potatoes in her hair. Tidy girl, she is. (Hey, I'm Yoda!) We will probably have the fight outside this year as there is no snow yet and it's much easier to let the animals clean up the mess than draping the walls with plastic (started that after we got older and washing walls was way too much.) With this few people it will be Granny who gets most of the damage. For some reason, I always seem to.

This total lack of respect for decorum comes, of course, from my youth. Growing up in a less than ideal home situation showed me how important it was to be spontaneous and full of laughter. My mother had some strange rules. For example: I could never say that I was full. "There should be no reference to your stomach. That is rude!" So, the acceptable statement was, "I've had sufficient." Of course, this makes no sense. It's not like I was eating in front of the Queen. And more often than not, it was food retrieved from a dumpster. So, it has become a family joke. Caden and I crack up everytime he says, "I've had sufficient." Way to turn things around, Sarah!

Holidays when I was a child were horrible. All of your typical hysteria surrounding an alcoholic, drug addicted mother. I learned early on that the best way to survive was to be sick. I don't know how many holidays I spent in the hospital, but enough for it to always come to mind. The first holiday I reclaimed was Thanksgiving. It took a while, but, it was definitely a turning point in my life. The ability to be thankful is the greatest gift one can give to one's self.

And this year, as in all years, I have much to be thankful for. The love of a family. The love of friends. The ability to care for myself and other's around me with respect. The fact that I live with my needs being met and having the sensitivity to know that other's aren't and the courage to try and change that. That I have finally come to love myself and learned how truly freeing that can be. That was a hard one and only came about because I was able to quit resenting the past and put it in perspective with the future. And on and on and on.

I hope that you and your families will enjoy tomorrow as much as I will. Hopefully, there will printable pictures of the food fight and you can see that insanity reigns in much of my life...willingly!